Our youngest. And he just might be the child we struggle the most with. And when I say struggle I mean navigating the journey of parenting this boy. If you have been around since the start of me sharing about our youngest son Jackson. Then you know exactly how hard we fought to get him support, resources and literally all the things. Our youngest son Jackson is much more complex as he ages and things are becoming more clear to us and everyone that he is high risk. High risk of ( s-e-l-f i-n-j-u-r-i-n-g ) . High risk of needing more help then we can offer him. It makes me sad. I will be completely upfront about how sad I am. It is heartbreaking to see your child struggle endlessly. Every single day. A battle in his mind. That is the only way I can explain it. To him the voices he is hearing are real. To him the things that are happening are real. To him the ability to have no self control over himself is real. To him the 4 other individuals that are part of him are real. Our daughter asked the other night " Is that just part of Jackson's autism " . Something that is complicated about all of this is that our daughter wants to help. Our daughter wants to be part of the solution. Our daughter loves her brother Jackson with all her heart. Being realistic our daughter can't help in this situation, the truth is us parents don't really know what we are doing. The whole thing is a chaotic mess right now. Manic behaviors. Severe episodes of chaos. And some uncharted moments that are making us think we are in over our heads. That is this situation with Jackson we are experiencing at the most intense and severe level. It is hard to explain but I tried my best to tell my daughter this the other night. " No, it is not part of his autism. It is something else going on & until we know for sure we all just gotta be aware that Jackson is not himself fully ". Stuck in the middle. Something I have shared about numerous times on here with you all. I feel so sad that my daughter is stuck in the middle. Avery is the oldest and he is diagnosed with severe non verbal autism. And our daughter Natalie is the middle child. Jackson is our youngest son diagnosed on the autism spectrum with a list of additional labels. It's hard on her being the middle child. I see. I understand. I get it. Things are not always simple, easy or always fun for her or our family. This life can be messy, chaotic and challenging more days than not. Honestly I am trying my best and hopefully she sees that as our family navigates some of the most challenging times with our youngest son Jackson. One day at a time is all we can do right now.
Posted by journeyforavery at 2022-10-13 15:44:59 UTC